Many people claim to have empathy for others and they show it through a genuine understanding of other people when they are having a difficult time, but have we ever wondered if we have empathy for others even when they do not have a difficult time?
When another person is suffering, it is much easier for us to empathize with her through her suffering than when that person is hurting someone else. Have we ever tried to empathize with someone who is hurting others? It does not have to be a specific pain, in terms of physical or intentional mental abuse, I am leaving it out here, but I mean unintentional pain in the form of, for example, unintentionally spoken words in affect, or unknowingly committing certain actions that result in the hurt of another person’s heart.
It is much easier for us humans to identify with the role of the victim and thus try to understand someone’s pain, but in the opposite is a bit more difficult. Why is it so? When you find yourself in a position to testify that a person is inadvertently hurting other people, try not to condemn him, try to talk to that person, and come up with the cause of such behavior together, maybe that person has been hurt in the past and thus unconsciously tries to balance emotions within himself. Do not misunderstand me, I do not consider this to be a justification for such behavior, no, I just want to inspire you to reduce hurt and anger if you are that person who will inadvertently hurt you with being cold-blooded or impulsive. In most cases, when such persons are approached with a conciliatory and understanding attitude, that person “softens” and opens up, we can even say that some are becoming aware because they were not aware of such behavior before, and thus gradually begin the process of change. Try this if something like this ever happens to you, you have nothing to lose, we need more people who will understand already hurt people, not those who will condemn them.
And surely you used to be in the role of the very person who inadvertently inflicts pain on others, these are mostly our closest people. And you are aware that at that moment you least need the one who will condemn you, on the contrary, then we need the one who will understand us the most. In these moments, understanding possesses the healing power and it is easier for us to begin an internal change that is projected in external circumstances and relationships with other people. Let’s start with ourselves.