NARCISSISM: Before you give someone a “narcissist” label..

If you read the text that offered the Narcissism Test from the book “Should I Stay or Should I Go” (Dr. Ramani Darvasula) you see that there are certain criteria on the basis of which we conclude that someone is a narcissist or even has a narcissistic personality disorder, we will take that test with a reserve and recommend that you don’t stick labels to other people that are narcissists before you think critically about everything.

Our text, Mental Disorders or Problems of Living ( clearly describes the view of mental disorders. So, we must all admit that we have all recognized ourselves (some on a larger, some on a smaller scale) in the test questions offered. If you had 15 affirmative answers then you or your partner is a pathological narcissist but if you have 20 affirmative answers then it is one hundred percent, pathological narcissist. It sounds cruel to label someone based on 15 or 20 correct answers and to view them as a “mentally disturbed” person.

To give a broader context, we will explain how it works to diagnose a particular mental disorder. To be diagnosed with a “mental disorder”, you must meet 5 of the 8 criteria offered (in some cases more, in some less) and then, on the basis of a psychiatric checklist, get a paper that you are “mentally disturbed”. Now, DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition: DSM-5) changes the criteria for a few years and reduces or increases the conditions upon which a particular “mental disorder” is determined.

Formerly a “mental disorder” was homosexuality, so this “mental disorder” was dropped from the classification because people rebelled against it and pressured them to expel it (Conrad & Slodden, 2013). Masturbation was also initially treated as a mental disorder and was subsequently dropped from the classification. So, depending on the society, mental disorders are subject to change and there are no fixed mental disorders and we have no idea what will be treated as a mental disorder in fifty years. We come to the bottom line, if narcissism is a mental disorder and you are so angry and frustrated that your partner, friend, father, mother, a co-worker is a narcissist, why are you constantly supporting narcissism on a collective level?

Every celebrity who acts according to all the above criteria for diagnosing narcissistic personality disorder has millions of reviews on social networks, a large number of active fans follow and support her. We raise arrogance and reckless behavior, we like to watch one person humiliate and insult another person and then make a problem and lament when such a person we praise and raise a rating ends up one day as our partner. We all need to collectively accept the responsibility that we are a society that favors and popularizes narcissism as a phenomenon. At present, the whole society and all the people who, unfortunately, have felt the psychological suffering and pain on their skin of narcissists regret ever admiring such people and glorifying them indirectly (via the ideals of celebrities).

Now we all find ourselves in a position to pull our hair out because of the people we primarily created and who gave us so much popularity to set a new social standard of treatment for others. Our goal is not to justify narcissism and to take responsibility for hurting other people. It is not our goal to justify their lack of empathy for other people, but on the contrary, we try through empathy to look at them, their problem and their way of functioning. To be understood, if narcissism were to encounter an incredible amount of condemnation in the world, no one would behave in this way, but people would seek different ways to meet their needs. Imagine someday celebrities being the most affectionate and caring people around them. Imagine that one day we reach such a society. Then the problems and suffering inflicted by narcissists on other people would probably not exist. Let us begin to influence change in the world. If you are currently going through a very difficult and painful process caused by contact with the people we described above, we sincerely recommend reading the book at the end of the text. It offers guidance on how to ease the suffering and pain of dealing with the people described.

The world is listening to you,
Be Empathy

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