As in the text “Mental disorders or living problems” explained, we want to point out that labeling and diagnosing people has primarily negative implications and rarely leads to positive changes.
We believe that by understanding one’s psychological state we can figure out why someone behaves a certain way. So is the case with narcissists.
“Narcissism” began to attract increasing attention from both the media and people who live or hang out with them. Instead of narcissists, we’ll talk about people who present themselves in a pretentious light but to understand we will explain their actions and what leads to them.
We believe that “narcissism” is not a mental disorder but a problem
of life. We only use narcissism to understand what it is that we are talking about. I will use the word “narcissism” in this text, but labeling people with narcissists have no value by itself.
What drives people to have a high opinion of themselves and why they find other people less valuable?
- They are not born as “nacissists” they are made. To them “narcissism”
serves as a survival mechanism and they have developed such a strategy in order to somehow deal with the problems they were experiencing.
- “Narcissism” is a product of parenting and originates exclusively from parents as Dr. Ramani Darvasula states.
- Parents treat these children in the following ways:
- They value their children only based on their success when the child is not successful, they turn their heads and do not value them at all as human beings.
- They want their child to be the best at something so they can be proud of and admire it. Unless they can brag about their child, it is not worth it.
- They use the child as an instrument to satisfy their needs, the need for someone to admire them, and the need to send people a picture of the “perfect family”.
- They are not oriented towards the feelings of their children. They don’t care how their child feels, they do not talk to them about their emotions.
- They don’t have time for their children. They do not spend their free time with them because they don’t care. They always have more important and smarter things to do.
Conclusions the kid realizes – I am only valuable if I make some success or if I get some recognition, otherwise, I’m not worthy and my parents don’t like me.
From this, we begin to understand why it is so important to them later in life for people to admire them and why they present themselves in the perfect light and why they are degrading other people.
What lies beneath the mantle of their perfection?
- Extreme insecurity about yourself and your actions.
- A constant search for confirmation by other people for their image of themselves and their basic values.
- They desperately crave praise and recognition because they have been taught that without praise they are not worth it.
- They are very internally empty.
- Potential depression.
This text has tried to explain what mechanisms are behind these
people and we wanted to bring you at least a little closer to what this means to them and how they feel.
How to empathize with them?
You know why they are like that and why they behave that way, their goal is not to insult or hurt you, their main goal is to make them feel better because they do not own the basic value of being loved.
Understand, don’t judge.
Try to put yourself in their shoes.